There is no 12 Step Program for LIFE…..here I may sound contradictory but stay with me….
I’ve been contemplating life…and death. As is my constant question and work both …with myself and my clients I’ve been thinking about what it means to ‘be human’.
What I see in many people and myself is a need for a ‘recipe’ a 12 step program in how to ‘do life’. If perhaps we had the answer written on a postcard we might have a plan and formulae to follow and then we can ‘get it right’:
Earn the money
Get the beloved
Be successful
…..place all the desires you here.
However, whilst we have cultural and family values and systems to learn by (and also misdirect is in some ways) the biggest and most fundamental trick and tip to ‘being human’ is exactly that.
Be Human.
Learn to ‘Do You….Be YOU….’ unapologetically and authentically YOU….
No one can show us an exact formulae to how to do this and BE ourselves as we have to learn our own formula. To understand the nuances of who we are. What makes us tick. What turns us on, in and off..
Yes, it is vital to learn how to do some things and gain information as we are not all great at everything.
For example, I’ve been looking at business models and how to move my work forward, on and up.
Within the market there are SO many offering a ‘one size fits all model’. A follow this and Learn this and you will get to 6 figures, grow your business etc etc yet does it really consider YOU?
Yes. There are strategies that we can follow. Yet, so many do not succeed as it isn’t tailored to you. They rely on great marketing and ‘A ‘generalised’ view of ‘limiting beliefs’ avoiding your own authentic blueprint.
Many are using a model which actually scares me…In the past I’ve participated in ‘growth’ trainings that promote the ‘put your attention here and the money will come…put it on credit and money will come’ (subsequently leaving me very in debt and spirit broken). I see this for many people lured by the incredible marketing and ‘shiny charismatic people’ ….if I did that program I’d get that too mentality kicks in.
There is nothing wrong with these desires yet…..how many decisions are made from a place of grounded deep self knowing?
I see online dating experts selling huge amounts right now ‘do this, say this, text this and you’ll get them Interested, to fall in love, come back”, blah blah blah. It’s fascinating. Whilst some is helpful again each one is showing a ‘formulae’ into how to ‘do dating’ to get the ‘one’ and millions of us watch, buy, subscribe because we are all desperate to know ‘how to do it ‘right’.
It’s all a big game. Why do we play games with each other?
It keeps us safe. We hide behind a model that is not our truth and get to avoid being vulnerable, real and raw.
Yet…..again it’s avoiding what’s the truth…. YOU getting to know you. Being you, Fully?
What am I trying to say?
No one size fits all. Fact.
Believe me. I’m one who always does another course, workshop, seminar to learn how to ‘do me better’….always something to ‘fix’ because I believe there is something ‘wrong with me’.
What if there is nothing else to learn from someone else?
What if there was nothing else to ‘Do’?
What if I just was? If I was accepting all that is me? Took full responsibility? This means stop looking out and look in….
To stop blaming another failed course, teacher/Guru and actually learned to be me…
There is no singular learning
No one person or teacher
No one course, workshop or seminar that can gift us all we need to know about being the fullness of ourselves.
We collect and collate as we journey from many. For this is a ‘journey’. It’s a process of growing and learning along the way.
We learn in ourselves from all the input, events, successes, seeming failures….(these are growth opportunities) and every interaction.
Find those that inspire and share wholeheartedly and move on. Learn different things. Try on different hats and suits and shoes as you walk and dance this journey.
There is no one doctrine….except that of yourself. This in itself shifts and changes as we shift and change. As we navigate we learn more fully what it means for US to be human. To be who we are here to be.
What if we could know there was nothing to ‘fix but everything to BE?
To write and become our own doctrine to our own life?
What then???
As with it all….take from this what you will….. leave the rest
My doctrine is not yours and yours is not mine we are all individuals learning from each other, ourselves and at all times leaning into love.